Sacrificial Love
"Girls, be quiet! I need just five minutes of peace, PLEASE!"
This was my statement last Sunday morning at 9:59 AM as I peeled out of the driveway headed to Sunday School, somehow miraculously thinking I would make it there by 10:00. You want to see me as my least Christian self, come visit my house on Sunday morning when Dad has to work. Running through the house trying to make four girls look presentable, because after all in the South, you better look your best for Church! You can thank those southern roots and Opal Jean for that belief. When Matt and I first got together, he came over one Sunday morning and was supposed to go to church with me. He came in wearing jeans! JEANS! I told him he was going to have to go change. "You can't wear jeans to church on Sunday morning!" Him being the nature that he is let me know that I was being absolutely crazy and ridiculous, then I let him know how improper he was being, which resulted in one of the many selfish fights we had in the beginning (but I digress...)
Ever been there? Ever thought to yourself, if I could just be alone, if I could just have five minutes to myself. I would be able to regain my composure and breathe in that refreshing peace the Bible talks about. I've thought it. Other moms have thought this. Wives have thought this. Any woman in the world has thought this and I'm pretty sure men have too. When you get to this place and you make it known that you need peace, you'll think or even hear things like this:
Honey, you just go pamper yourself
The more I study the Bible, the more I realize that this type of thinking is of this world. It is severely flawed. This type of thinking is selfish. This type of thinking turns the focus towards self and that is a dangerous place to be. Putting self first is the opposite of what we need to be doing. But the world shouts and screams at us, take care of you! Put yourself first! You deserve it! Your needs matter first!
Now, you say wait a minute Tori, there is nothing selfish about it, everyone needs a little down time, a little time to themselves. Do we need it? Or is it just something that we have been trained to think? Servants to others is what we are called to be on a daily basis as a Christian. Not servants to ourselves. When we think that we should be first, we completely miss out on a huge opportunity we have to serve God and ultimately that is what we have been created for. For Him. Not for our self.
As the words left my mouth last Sunday morning, I immediately regretted them. The Holy Spirit has a way of convicting you right down to the core. But I do believe that you will be given an opportunity to be redeemed instead of just having to sit and sulk in your own failure. He will provide a way for you to change, if you just follow.
Sitting here now looking back on this week, I realize I have been provided with many more opportunities for me to practice sacrificing myself for the sake of others. Let's just say I have failed miserably this week. I've have been self-centered, asking why can't I just have it easy this once, why can't I have everything go my way, why can't they just do what I ask, why is something always against me? Sometimes we have to learn the hard way, there is no other way around it. It finally dawned on me this morning that "It's not all about you!" Let me say it again, "IT"S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU, TORI!" As much as I want it to be, my life was not created for my enjoyment. Sure I can experience joy and happiness and peace, but that isn't what my purpose is. My purpose is to show others God through the way I live and living for myself will never accomplish that task.
So let me encourage you, when you feel like you can't give any more of yourself to your spouse, when you are worn out, tired, drained emotionally and physically from your children, when your job is asking more of you than your feel like you can take, just keep giving! It won't be easy and your nature will most likely fight it, but stay the course. Think on heavenly things and then you will begin to see changes that are for good. Changes that will help broken souls. Changes that make this world a better place.
Don't give up, give out.
With love,
Tori
This was my statement last Sunday morning at 9:59 AM as I peeled out of the driveway headed to Sunday School, somehow miraculously thinking I would make it there by 10:00. You want to see me as my least Christian self, come visit my house on Sunday morning when Dad has to work. Running through the house trying to make four girls look presentable, because after all in the South, you better look your best for Church! You can thank those southern roots and Opal Jean for that belief. When Matt and I first got together, he came over one Sunday morning and was supposed to go to church with me. He came in wearing jeans! JEANS! I told him he was going to have to go change. "You can't wear jeans to church on Sunday morning!" Him being the nature that he is let me know that I was being absolutely crazy and ridiculous, then I let him know how improper he was being, which resulted in one of the many selfish fights we had in the beginning (but I digress...)
Ever been there? Ever thought to yourself, if I could just be alone, if I could just have five minutes to myself. I would be able to regain my composure and breathe in that refreshing peace the Bible talks about. I've thought it. Other moms have thought this. Wives have thought this. Any woman in the world has thought this and I'm pretty sure men have too. When you get to this place and you make it known that you need peace, you'll think or even hear things like this:
Honey, you just go pamper yourself
Go have a girls night out
Go on that shopping spree
I mean we deserve it, don't we?!
The more I study the Bible, the more I realize that this type of thinking is of this world. It is severely flawed. This type of thinking is selfish. This type of thinking turns the focus towards self and that is a dangerous place to be. Putting self first is the opposite of what we need to be doing. But the world shouts and screams at us, take care of you! Put yourself first! You deserve it! Your needs matter first!
Now, you say wait a minute Tori, there is nothing selfish about it, everyone needs a little down time, a little time to themselves. Do we need it? Or is it just something that we have been trained to think? Servants to others is what we are called to be on a daily basis as a Christian. Not servants to ourselves. When we think that we should be first, we completely miss out on a huge opportunity we have to serve God and ultimately that is what we have been created for. For Him. Not for our self.
As the words left my mouth last Sunday morning, I immediately regretted them. The Holy Spirit has a way of convicting you right down to the core. But I do believe that you will be given an opportunity to be redeemed instead of just having to sit and sulk in your own failure. He will provide a way for you to change, if you just follow.
Sitting here now looking back on this week, I realize I have been provided with many more opportunities for me to practice sacrificing myself for the sake of others. Let's just say I have failed miserably this week. I've have been self-centered, asking why can't I just have it easy this once, why can't I have everything go my way, why can't they just do what I ask, why is something always against me? Sometimes we have to learn the hard way, there is no other way around it. It finally dawned on me this morning that "It's not all about you!" Let me say it again, "IT"S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU, TORI!" As much as I want it to be, my life was not created for my enjoyment. Sure I can experience joy and happiness and peace, but that isn't what my purpose is. My purpose is to show others God through the way I live and living for myself will never accomplish that task.
So let me encourage you, when you feel like you can't give any more of yourself to your spouse, when you are worn out, tired, drained emotionally and physically from your children, when your job is asking more of you than your feel like you can take, just keep giving! It won't be easy and your nature will most likely fight it, but stay the course. Think on heavenly things and then you will begin to see changes that are for good. Changes that will help broken souls. Changes that make this world a better place.
Don't give up, give out.
With love,
Tori
This was fantastic, I have these feelings daily especially when Danny is out of town and I'm parenting by myself. but i go to bed feeling so guilty wishing I had shown more patience with the girls or Danny.
ReplyDeleteKeep fighting the good fight girl!
ReplyDeleteThankful for a forgiving and merciful God! I have been right there and done that friend! I know I realized I've been so busy searching for a purpose and wanting things to go "my way" that I was missing the big picture that I am living my God given purpose... sharing Gods love and Jesus mercy with my patients and then also having the beauty of raising a family! It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking things should be better or be different but when we truly stop and look around we are so very blessed!
ReplyDeleteStart each day with a grateful heart :) My motto from here on out!
DeleteYes! And it is so funny but I believe most Christians (or Christian parents with little ones) are probably the least Christian on Sundays ;) I know that my house is guilty of it very often because of the hustle and the bustle of getting ready and getting there on time. I think we are probably the grouchiest that morning when we should be preparing to worship but I have yet to find that balance but it does catch me every time and I try to do better. :) I saw a wonderful quote posted just yesterday that said "If you are going to Rise you might as well Shine" no reason to not try and be happy and make the best of it if you are going to get up :) This is the day the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it.
ReplyDelete