Night Shift Stinks!

To start with, two random thoughts for today:

1. I don't think I could ever give up meat because I love BACON! We had breakfast for dinner.

2. I'm not sure how people with 5+ children keep them all alive at once.  Olly ate a raw onion today, or at least dug into it with her one tooth. Tried crawling up the stairs only to topple backwards, pulled up on the toilet using her mouth and the seat as leverage. Pulled the vent cover out of the floor and then proceeded to stick her hand and face down the hole. Punctured all the Ziploc snack bags that had my crackers in it and left a trail down the hallway. FYI: I forgot what it was like to have a mobile baby who is into everything, please don't turn me in. BLESS!

Onto the more important part...me complaining about how much I dislike night shift!  I know, you say, suck it up Tori.  Get over it, there are tons of people who have it a lot worse than you do. There are people who don't see their families for months and even a year at a time.  I know! I'm over here trying to get it together because I know and understand all these things, but after ten years, I still say NIGHT SHIFT STINKS!

Every two weeks, night shift rears its ugly little head at our house.  We come off a wonderful three day weekend that was proceeded with two weeks of day shift, an almost normal schedule, then the gloom starts creeping in Sunday afternoon and all day Monday until my husbands shift starts. Kudos to those of you who work night shift all the time because sometimes I think me and my husband are on different planets when night shift rolls around.  But let me break it down for you, I become unbearable sometimes when he's on night shift. I'm irritable, moody, sarcastic, and just down right mean sometimes.  I have had plenty of years to practice so I'm extra good at it. Why am I this way you ask? Good question! I have no reason to be this way, but  I'm not getting my way (this might be where Isla gets it from after all?).  I want normalcy. I want the 9-5. I want to go to sleep and wake up at the same time.  I want to eat dinner together always.  

Are you tired of my complaining yet?  Well if you aren't, I am.  This vicious cycle of shift work has been part of my life since we got married. I've come to the realization that the devil is very good at what he does. He can take one small little thorn in your side and keep it there long enough and just let it dig, and dig, and dig a little bit further into your skin until it becomes so unbearable you have to scream.  Am I being dramatic, possibly but I do know little things can become big things if you don't keep yourself in check.  So after my thousandth time of going through this emotional rollercoaster due to my husband working nights, it hit me. It doesn't have to be this way.  That's it.  IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY.

All the whining to myself, all the complaining to myself, all the pity parties I had/have for myself, they don't have to happen.  I can overcome this feeling of dread. 

Some of you might be thinking, my goodness can she just be without him for 10 hours at time.  Yes I can, but some days I don't want to and I'm okay with that.

So where do I turn to beat this battle? You guessed it, the Bible.  Whenever I turn there, I always leave with comfort and hope because there is always something there that meets me where I am.

One of my favorite verses came to mind:

Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28

He will take it. The self-pity. The whining. The complaining. The comparisons of what I don't get to have.  He will take it and then he will replace it.  The self-pity turns to thankfulness for his blessings. The whining and complaining turns to praising him for his amazing work in your life.  The comparisons of what I don't get to have turns to my eyes solely focused on him and how great and mighty he is.  

Rest is waiting for you and for me.  We just have to be willing to come.

With love, 

Tori