Parents vs. Children

Before I became a parent, I thought I had it all figured out.  I knew exactly how I was going to raise my children, the things they would be allowed to do, the things they wouldn't be allowed to do.  I was going to make them behave, use their manners, and they would be obedient.  It would be a piece of cake. My plans were made five years in advance. Anyone who knows me knows I've got a plan, list, and/or chart for every area of my life

Then I had children and realized my so called parenting plan probably wasn't going to turn out the way I wanted it to.  It's just like a lesson plan I would create for teaching. It would be a beautiful lesson plan with all the bells and whistles.

• All learning styles met, CHECK
• Differentiation within the lesson; CHECK
• Packed with hands on activities that the kids are going to love! CHECK

 I  would dream about these perfect plans the night before I was going to teach them and just how awesome they were going to be! Then the day would come and little Johnny would decide he didn't want to learn about solids, liquids, and gases. No he wanted to make his own gas and cause everyone to be distracted because they can't keep asking "What's that smell?" and snickering under their breath.

Yeah that's pretty much how real life goes. You plan, you plan, you plan and it just never turns out the exact way you had it in your mind.

Well remember my perfect parenting plan where my kids were going to hang on every word I said, never disobey me, and love me all the more for it? Yeah that plan has been run through the shredder and it's never coming back to life again.  No matter how much I want to fit my kids into that cookie cutter little box, it's not going to happen.  How did I come to this realization?  Well let me explain...

Yesterday was a beautiful warm Spring day, so naturally we decided to spend some to be outside. The girls played for a while, jumped on the trampoline, kicked the soccer ball around, then we decided to talk a walk down the neighborhood. It's inevitable that as soon as Dad walks out the door my children just decide to go bananas .(Don't worry though he gets back just in time for the good part!) 

Olly starts crying probably about a minute into our walk, the sun's in her face. I get her into a shady spot and Emry and Isla have gone ahead on their bike/scooter to their favorite playing spot.  Well by the time I reach them pushing the stroller, Emry is running back to me whimpering because she has tripped over her own two feet while running up and down the ditch, fell on the pavement and skinned her palm.  When she reaches me and I see what happened, I hear Isla start to act up. I look at her and she's throwing her sandal across the grass screaming, "There's a bug, there's a bug." So I leave Emry still whimpering and go look at Isla's sandal. I see absolutely no trace of any type of bug on there, but I shake it anyways, set it on the ground in front of her and instruct her to put it back on. 

 Meanwhile, Olly starts up again because her coach has stopped moving.  I tell the girls to come on we need to head back to the house because we need to clean up Emry's scrape.  Well Isla is glued to the pavement, screaming, "I can't put my shoe back on! The bug is still on there. Carry me!"  No Isla, I will not carry you, you have your scooter. Ride it back to the house."  "I can't the bug is still on my sandal!"  After a few exchanges, I start walking back to the house and leave Isla standing in the same spot crying and hollering. (I know our neighbors just love us) Honestly I don't remember how I got her to come, but she finally starts scooting back towards the house. 

Just as we are getting back to the house, Matt pulled in from the gym.  We get settled back down, Matt joins us and we try the walk again. Well this time Olly is the one doing most of the crying, so we have to head back to the house shortly after we begin our walk. Suffice it to say, the walk was a bust.

We get back to the house and my plan is to rock Olly because she is fussy from being tired and Emry asks her Dad to go play soccer with her. So they stay outside, Isla, Olly, and I go inside. I begin to rock Olly and a few minutes go by and Isla peeks her head down the stairs and says, "Mommy, my foot hurts, there is something brown in it."  I tell her to come here and let me look at it. When I finally get it close enough to my face, I realize she has gotten a splinter. Y'all go ahead and sedate me now, because I know that after the four year old shots, this whole splinter deal is going to be a time. Not to mention I can tell by first glance that it's a big one! 

I tell her to sit down and I go recruit Matt. He and Emry have maybe been outside for three minutes.  (I told you he got home for the good part!)  I go and get some tweezers and a safety pin.  Remember that perfect parenting plan, well in that plan we would sit down with Isla, calmly explain to her that the splinter has to come out or it could get infected, we have to use these tools to help us get it out, and as soon as its over with, her heel will feel so much better and she can walk on it again.  There would be no crying, only brave little girls. That's the way it should've gone.  This is the way it went...

No, No NO NO NO!!! I don't wanna, I don't wanna, No NO NO NO!! Don't use the safety pin! Don't use the tweezers!! NO NO NO!!! Arms start flailing, legs start kicking, and Dad starts sitting. On Isla that is.  I'm on the floor with my tools and Matt has grabbed a hold of her foot. I am trying to ever so gently pull back enough skin to get this splinter out as quickly as humanly possible.  She's not making it very easy. Remember those two other children we have, yeah they witnessed the whole thing. All the screaming and crying gets Olly crying, and so Emry is trying to sing her "The Wheels on the Bus" but because of all the commotion she's forgetting parts  "The wheels on the bus go round and...the wheels on the bus.. round and round...the bus wheels round go."  

The strength of a child that does not want to do something is no joke! Don't believe me, try holding one of them down when they don't want to be.  They'll turn from sweet little dainty girl, to the incredible hulk in about five seconds. Y'all that was probably the longest five minutes of my life! I ended up with Matt's sweat all over me because she was fighting him that hard and I was in just the right spot for it to drip right on me.  Then the worst part of it all, once it was all over and she realized we weren't going to touch her foot anymore, it was like a switch was flipped.  The most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life. From her death bed to dancing her way through flowery meadows. Absolutely astonishing!

So the score is...

Parents-0

Children- 1

With love, 

Tori