Parenting is Hard, Can I Get an Amen?!
Can I just say that parenting is hard.
We bring these beautiful children into the world without a clue on what we are doing. We have experience to pull from based on the way we ourselves were raised, and that can be a good or bad thing. There are books we can read along with numerous articles from "experts" and I've read my fair share. But other than that we basically have to learn along the way. Often times, in my case at least, I have to learn the hard way.
Ever have those days where you completely, totally, and miserably fail at everything you are trying to accomplish in the parenting aspect of your life? On days like today I'm at a loss for words to explain the mess I've made of today. Today was my turn to be disciplined because I was acting up. Today God gave me the opportunity to show up for him and I missed the mark. How thankful I am that his mercies are new every morning.
I've mentioned before that I am a competitive person and I loved to compete way back when. However my competitive spirit has not always my best feature. Trust me, it can be used for good, but often times it is used negatively. Being competitive throughout my life has helped me learn some very valuable lessons and helped me achieve many of my goals. It's helped me push past pain and heartache and kept me motivated to want to be the best that I can be. Those times are ones I look back on with fondness.
Being competitive also makes me dislike losing, at anything. These times are when I struggle, because in life it is inevitable that you are going to lose, literally and figuratively. When I get to these times, frustration, anger, and disappointment are the only feelings I have.
Now that I have kids, my competitive nature is focused on them as well, wanting them to strive to be the best possible person they can be. I often push them just a little bit harder than maybe I should because I think if they just see that they are capable they will soar even higher. I don't expect perfection, but some days it's pretty close. Why am I this way? Not really sure, other than doing your best and giving it all you got, has always been a part of me. I was taught you always give 100% no matter what it is that your are doing. If you are going to do something, you do it all the way. You leave it all on the field.
Today, my daughter competed in a soccer game. I am and always will be her biggest fan. I love to watch her play and excel. It's an absolute joy, until I decide she's not meeting my expectations. Then I become that parent. The parent that tells her she needs to pick up the slack. The parent that tells her if she doesn't act like she wants to play then she needs to sit on the bench. The parent that yells you got to do better. The parent that points out all her weaknesses before I point out her strengths. As I type these words, I cringe on the inside because it's not the parent I want to be. It's not at all how I imagined myself being. But here I am, wallowing in my regrets on the choices I've made. Can I say again that parenting is hard?!
So what do you do when you've done all the wrong things? All the things that you know you shouldn't have but you just lacked the self-control to act in a responsible way?
You humble yourself before your child and ask for their forgiveness. You explain to them, mommy makes mistakes, and mommy was wrong for acting that way, and mommy loves you oh so much. You let them see your vulnerability because in this moment you are teaching them. You are teaching them that we are all sinners. But even though we fall short, there is one thing that will always remain and that is love.
With Love,
Tori
We bring these beautiful children into the world without a clue on what we are doing. We have experience to pull from based on the way we ourselves were raised, and that can be a good or bad thing. There are books we can read along with numerous articles from "experts" and I've read my fair share. But other than that we basically have to learn along the way. Often times, in my case at least, I have to learn the hard way.
Ever have those days where you completely, totally, and miserably fail at everything you are trying to accomplish in the parenting aspect of your life? On days like today I'm at a loss for words to explain the mess I've made of today. Today was my turn to be disciplined because I was acting up. Today God gave me the opportunity to show up for him and I missed the mark. How thankful I am that his mercies are new every morning.
I've mentioned before that I am a competitive person and I loved to compete way back when. However my competitive spirit has not always my best feature. Trust me, it can be used for good, but often times it is used negatively. Being competitive throughout my life has helped me learn some very valuable lessons and helped me achieve many of my goals. It's helped me push past pain and heartache and kept me motivated to want to be the best that I can be. Those times are ones I look back on with fondness.
Being competitive also makes me dislike losing, at anything. These times are when I struggle, because in life it is inevitable that you are going to lose, literally and figuratively. When I get to these times, frustration, anger, and disappointment are the only feelings I have.
Now that I have kids, my competitive nature is focused on them as well, wanting them to strive to be the best possible person they can be. I often push them just a little bit harder than maybe I should because I think if they just see that they are capable they will soar even higher. I don't expect perfection, but some days it's pretty close. Why am I this way? Not really sure, other than doing your best and giving it all you got, has always been a part of me. I was taught you always give 100% no matter what it is that your are doing. If you are going to do something, you do it all the way. You leave it all on the field.
Today, my daughter competed in a soccer game. I am and always will be her biggest fan. I love to watch her play and excel. It's an absolute joy, until I decide she's not meeting my expectations. Then I become that parent. The parent that tells her she needs to pick up the slack. The parent that tells her if she doesn't act like she wants to play then she needs to sit on the bench. The parent that yells you got to do better. The parent that points out all her weaknesses before I point out her strengths. As I type these words, I cringe on the inside because it's not the parent I want to be. It's not at all how I imagined myself being. But here I am, wallowing in my regrets on the choices I've made. Can I say again that parenting is hard?!
So what do you do when you've done all the wrong things? All the things that you know you shouldn't have but you just lacked the self-control to act in a responsible way?
You humble yourself before your child and ask for their forgiveness. You explain to them, mommy makes mistakes, and mommy was wrong for acting that way, and mommy loves you oh so much. You let them see your vulnerability because in this moment you are teaching them. You are teaching them that we are all sinners. But even though we fall short, there is one thing that will always remain and that is love.
With Love,
Tori
Why you all up in dis!
ReplyDeleteI hear you sister! I've had to humble myself before my children many many times! Like you said the good thing is it teaches them we make mistakes too and it shows us taking responsibility for our actions by asking them for forgiveness!
ReplyDelete