My Idols
It seems that most of my posts lately have been about parenting. If I'm being honest, I know I think about parenting more than I ought to. But as most moms would say, my kids are my world, my everything, my reason for what I do.
But should they be?
The past few years of my life have been eye-opening for me as a parent. About three years ago, I decided that I wanted to become a stay at home mom. I felt that I was missing out on my children's most precious years and that I needed to be there for those moments. A huge case of mom guilt had set in and I thought the only way to get rid of it was to be there 24/7. So, we made arrangements along with some sacrifices and so began my new journey.
I got so wrapped up in spending every waking moment with my children that I felt bad for wanting to take anytime away for them. I felt ashamed when I took my focus off of them for one minute because I thought then I was letting them down as a mother. After all they needed me looking out for them all the time. If I didn't then who would?
For a long time in my mind, my girls always had part of themselves connected to me and that was the way that I liked it because I felt in control. I had let them become my constant focus. Day after day, I was determined to become the best mom I could be. But soon I ran into a problem. There was always something I could find that I wasn't doing enough of or something I was doing too much of. I could never reach that point of, "Yeah, I'm finally there. I've nailed this mom thing down." When I got here, my life screeched to a halt. How am I supposed to attain this "best mom I can be" title if there is always something else to accomplish?
One of the ways the dictionary defines worship is this: to adore or devote yourself toward a person or principle. Whoa, wait a minute? Was I worshiping my children?
Well, I was spending my life with my focus on how to be the best mom for them, how to meet all of their needs, to never have them hurt, to always be there and give them everything, never letting them experience failure or defeat. I think that falls under that definition. I was devoting my entire life to them. But isn't that what being a good mom is? If I don't put them first always and have their best interest at heart, aren't I failing at being the mother I'm supposed to be?
What I didn't realize was that I was failing them for that reason. I was failing them because I let my gaze slip off of Jesus and onto them.
My children are my gift, but they are not my identity. They are not who I am. Yes they were a part of me because I was allowed to have them and carry them, but at the end of the day, I am me and they are them. My children are people in and of themselves. They are not just an extension of me. They have their own brain, their own thoughts, their own feelings, and their own everything. I can't think for them, they aren't going to always agree with what I say and do, and I certainly can't have faith for them.
The only way to be the best mom that I could be was to put Jesus first. Only when my eyes are fixed on him can I help them. The best thing I can do for my children is to teach them about Jesus. Let them see a mom who loves Jesus with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Then and only then, will I be the best mom that I can be for my girls.
The Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24
With love,
Tori
But should they be?
The past few years of my life have been eye-opening for me as a parent. About three years ago, I decided that I wanted to become a stay at home mom. I felt that I was missing out on my children's most precious years and that I needed to be there for those moments. A huge case of mom guilt had set in and I thought the only way to get rid of it was to be there 24/7. So, we made arrangements along with some sacrifices and so began my new journey.
I got so wrapped up in spending every waking moment with my children that I felt bad for wanting to take anytime away for them. I felt ashamed when I took my focus off of them for one minute because I thought then I was letting them down as a mother. After all they needed me looking out for them all the time. If I didn't then who would?
For a long time in my mind, my girls always had part of themselves connected to me and that was the way that I liked it because I felt in control. I had let them become my constant focus. Day after day, I was determined to become the best mom I could be. But soon I ran into a problem. There was always something I could find that I wasn't doing enough of or something I was doing too much of. I could never reach that point of, "Yeah, I'm finally there. I've nailed this mom thing down." When I got here, my life screeched to a halt. How am I supposed to attain this "best mom I can be" title if there is always something else to accomplish?
One of the ways the dictionary defines worship is this: to adore or devote yourself toward a person or principle. Whoa, wait a minute? Was I worshiping my children?
Well, I was spending my life with my focus on how to be the best mom for them, how to meet all of their needs, to never have them hurt, to always be there and give them everything, never letting them experience failure or defeat. I think that falls under that definition. I was devoting my entire life to them. But isn't that what being a good mom is? If I don't put them first always and have their best interest at heart, aren't I failing at being the mother I'm supposed to be?
What I didn't realize was that I was failing them for that reason. I was failing them because I let my gaze slip off of Jesus and onto them.
My children are my gift, but they are not my identity. They are not who I am. Yes they were a part of me because I was allowed to have them and carry them, but at the end of the day, I am me and they are them. My children are people in and of themselves. They are not just an extension of me. They have their own brain, their own thoughts, their own feelings, and their own everything. I can't think for them, they aren't going to always agree with what I say and do, and I certainly can't have faith for them.
The only way to be the best mom that I could be was to put Jesus first. Only when my eyes are fixed on him can I help them. The best thing I can do for my children is to teach them about Jesus. Let them see a mom who loves Jesus with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Then and only then, will I be the best mom that I can be for my girls.
The Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24
With love,
Tori
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